buy one get one free

Hey there people or robots(if robots, please stop reading my blog and archiving it, fucking solicitors),

Purchasing things for the holiday season is something that we all have to do, but did you know of the harmful effects of holiday shopping?
"Tonight at 10 o'clock. Holiday Hunters, Brother."

Discombobulated, barreling through websites as if it was the 90's, during the period of Rosey O'Donnald fan fairs and mid-day female empowerment, and everyone was after the same thing, a talking elmo doll; I stared long and hard into the true threads of the internet. Not for the talking elmo doll--idon't have kids, and if i did, i sure as hell wouldn't get them a fucking talking puppet--rather something abated in mass but valued more than human life: a ring made of elements found and mined strickly by african nations looking for wealth, unfortunely, only get further and further from it. Yes, that's right, tiny rocks known by many as BLING$, and, by some, as diamonds--an extremely hard, highly refractive crystalline form of carbon that is usually colorless and is used as a gemstone and in abrasives, cutting tools, and other applications.
This is something for some odd reason, besides it innate ability to withhold large amounts of preasure without breaking, has been molded by commerce proprietors to be known as: "gift that lasts for ever", "the way to show her you love her", and "the gift that truely gives." (yeah, gives us war and a much higher global death demograph. Thanks Imperialism. ^_^)
The substance known as bling has been known to have adverse effects on people, depending on gender and carrots--the way to tell how much of your account will be gone after you purchase the item. Females, for some reason, have been for many years simply amazed by the shininess of the object, mesmurized by the mystical , yet enthralling, appeal. Men, on the other hand, have created more practical uses of the object. First, they turned to the political arena, revealing large crystal, or "bling", objects during debates. Unfortunately, their efforts were inadvertently thwarted by the lack of foreign female politians--pick an asian country--realizing it had more of an effect on their own polticians.
Next, they turned to industrial use, finding the expensive bling to be quite feasible for applications other than female oriented weapons. For example, sharp objects.

Oh dear...
I've gotten off topic here haven't I.
I'm truly sorry, where was i...?
Oh yes, online shopping. I was doing that earlier with my stepmom, looking for bling for my babygirl. (you know who you are.)

I've found that big stores have more to pay out, more overhead payment for their items, leaving them inadequate in the online market, seeing as ebay proprietors have nothing to pay out.
Online shopping is truly the best way to shop for christmas gifts: the safest, the calmest, the most secretive, and the simply the cheapest form of christmas shopping.

Damnit, i have to go to work. I'm already spending next weeks pay... YE YE. j/k.