Epiphany? Just a faint touch...

I had a good day yesterday, though it did end abruptly and my time was short lived with Stephanie. Stephanie came over, and everything seemed to be in it’s right place as the song says. I enjoy the banter and fragrance of her bout me and my room. I felt laid back and lighthearted the majority of the time she was there. I’d have to say we had an ample decision to be made, and it was made well. Only she knows what I’m talking about, so don’t be pretentious or guess… I really have been writing in here nearly as much for a few reasons; I’ve been reading outside the cyber world more for much of the time. When there’s not much else to do I’ve been spending time playing starcraft with my old online friends and two of my good friends, David and Young. Very recently, I’ve been looking at a myriad of poets and there work, some complicated some comprehensible, but all very interesting and all have the ability to keep my interest. I end up slipping into my introspective state of mind, where I tend to over analyze what’s going on around me, transiently. I’ve been having problems keeping my head on straight because of my habitual lack of prioritizing, and don’t act like you all have your shit together… We all know that is rarely a truth. My variegated room will being changing more soon, since I’ve decided I need change to keep my sense of productivity up. I’ll just move furniture around nothing to big or anything. My desk and bed must move, or there will be some mental confliction with my lifestyle. I NEED CHANGE, even though it’s not always a positive change. So, what I meant to say is that I need positive change and more of a balance in my routine. I’m feeling burnt out on what I’ve been doing, which still consists mainly of staying home and thinking or talking to my friends. As the days pass, I notice more-so that I’m falling behind on my driving and becoming even more slothful around the house. Maybe, my mental state has been fluctuating between good and bad so much that when I do feel good I’m home alone or others are in a bad mood in my household, and visa versa. When I finally get around to feeling like I can start doing some work that’s expected of me, I have become obligated to accommodate something’s or one’s responsibilities; which leads me to not getting work completed when it’s supposed to be. SHeshh… I need to get my priorities settled.

Oh well, today is the last day this week, or something,--so my mom says--that’s going to be clear and warm enough for me to bike up to the driving school sometime after school, as well as… weed the front yard. Oh, I’ll weed the damn wretched yard but with little effort or the least work possible. It’s good, I’ll just block that out of my head until it comes up with her. Work work work, and play play play. Is that all?

I was reading about some of these old philosopher’s philosophies about life and change. Heraclitean believed that everything is forever changing, so no state we’re in will last, not even death. It’s a very interesting idea but I think he’s got such a radical view.