If you're going to stress the rules, make sure you're going to do it right. You Fuck!

*If my english teacher wants to with hold my grades for missing school, giving me a C instead of my current, unadultered A, then he better have good fucking reasoning, and there's no way i'm going to sit to watch without any fight on this issue, especially when it's my grade at stake. What a prick!
So I've been doing my best to make sure he has, without a reasonable doubt, all the evidence needed to hold a strong arguement in abating my grade in his class. I'm entirely fucking sick of this feigned principal/moral consentment. "Where's the contention?", he asked. Well, with you feign reprobate reaction, and, all the sudden, you're an outstanding, morally principalled person?
Fucking idiot...
I went to the attendence counselor about the issue, getting nothing i couldn't have found on my own. I've already gotten my print out of missed days from the schools network, and i know all the days i've missed the dumb sod's class. I straight up asked for a print out of all the assignments assigned dates, from beginning to end, and due dates, or the stint in which they were due. I said that I shouldn't have my grade dropped from a low A to a C, when i've completed all the work. A facet to understand about my teacher's assignments is, he assigns things and has them due when the're finish, being only particularly scrutinizing with my case for some reason. For example, the assignment is assigned, say, monday, and it would be due from wednesday to friday. If i miss tues or even wednesday or both, then shouldn't i be accounted for missing that day only, making me still eligable for the turn-in date on friday? I believe so.
I'm really liking being a dick on an issue i know i'm right in, particularly when i can stick it to an authority figure who is in power over me. The dumbshit@!^%!! MOTHA @!*^&# DA@!E$!@ BI(&#! The only problem i have is staying calm when bringing it up. I was with the attendence counselor, questioning her for my liability, when she said she thinks she should talk to Mr. Cunningham about this whole matter, because she thought i might blow it up into something i may get in trouble with; but i told her i'm the one with the problem. I'm the one that's going to figure the matter out, and, if conflict may arise, i will be professional in my mannors, as always... I did raise my voice, but i didn't say anything offensive, nor off topic, strickly subject oriented.

Anyways, enough of that.
No work today, just school and a detention, but, i'm going to see if i can serve this dentention tomorrow, when i have ISD already--she may let me out early since i would be in the same room all day. It'd be good to get all or at least almost all the discipline out in one day, and that day is tomorrow.
I think i may end up jamming with david today while Stephanie is working; hopefully, that will work out. I have to call him right after schoo, when i get home to make sure he can.
I GOT MY PAYCHECK CASHED. MY FIRST DECENT, REAL PAYCHECK!
I'm going to sleep now. I don't care if I'm suppost to be working. I don't feel like it. give me an hour's rest.

Miss and Love you My Queen.

Dreampt My World Was Flat

I had a vile dream last night, and i think i had it because it's been on my mind slightly--just in the back--and i just had to drink a huge glass of distilled water before i went to bed--that can cause nightmares, bet you didn't know that! I also got up around 3, remembering that i left my commitment ring Stephanie gave to me behind the sink faucet, and walked in the absolutely freezing corridor to the bathroom, so i didn't have to remember in the morning. This left me in some abhorrent mind fuck, obviously, which led to a intense and vile dream--i guess it could be classified as a nightmare, resulting in a harsh awakening and near tears in my eyes from it's vividness and discomfort. I don't want to go into the details, however important and diminutive, because it's says nothing of my common courtesy to do so. Candidly, it was a dream i think i've had before, and, for reasons unknown, I've been remembering my dreams often now, recalling something i dream after nearly every sleep session, however minuscule. I do remember fragments of something similar, but, without further adeu, the dream was of my girl, leaving me. A premonition of imminence? I fucking hope not, it better as hell not be, and there's no fucking way i'm some undivine profit, scooping mislead truth from my dreams like hitler or something.
Oddly, i had had a good night before i laid down to sleep. I had talked to my dad about missing so much school recently, and his response was with refreshing support--something i've grown to resent in my mom, from so many years of reprobate reactions and insincere words. It's nice to have a parent that listens and actually gives you words of care and advice in return. We joked around, hitting with plenty of sexist and womanizing jokes, throwing banter back and forth like a good baseball game while shopping at Lowe's and Meijer's. He said I need to understand there's plenty of hope for my future, and there's no reason i should give up hope because of these issues complicating what i want. I could tell, he was being blunt, representing what he was saying and sourcing his advice with examples from his own life: "I mean, I went back after getting a music degree after i found out there was no way to make money there. Engineering made money, and i already liked doing math."
He convinced me there was hope in my financial future yet. His jokes about women and phones and all that good stuff was cracking me up, although i did protest to a sum of his jokes, firing back some comedic threats, emasculating his little gender war. I got just what i needed. It's funny how parental, didactic talks can be more helpful than any other authority figures. It's not just who is giving the advice, it's my dad and how he knows what he's talking about. He may not be able to teach math and science to me so greatly, but there's deffinately some parental spark in him.
I wish i could have gotten around to talking about us, Stephanie, but there was a rude interruption from the attendance counselor. I miss you and love you. I hope to talk to you soon.

Class Bell

I'm here at school, during lunch, in my lab, amonst some extremely cheerful folks, watching some comedic videos a classmate of mine has created. I brought my Radiohead data cd, listening to the entirity of it. It'll be easy from here on out. We have lab for the rest of the day. My english teacher is somewhat nosy, and, upon my arrival to his class, he pulled me aside and stared fanatically, asking me where i've been and if all the missing days were excused. I gave him a few glances to his forehead and said probably not. He said in a more sinister tone, "do your parents know? and are they mad at you?" I said they were pissed, making sure to give the assumption they knew, and, after a few more moments of his stare, I made the insinuation that i was going to try to stop. I really do need to try to attend this stupid school because it's my last year, and i really don't want any trouble that may be already on it's way.
I'm ready to leave, but i've retained my feelings as best i could, refraining myself from leaving. But I did go out to my car to get these data CDs, and, looking around a fair deal, smoked half a cigarette in an attempt to stay composed and apt for the second half of the school day.
I might have to work tonight, and i'm betting it's almost certain, another five to eight shift in the Arby's workforce. "Arby's Roast Beef Yes Sir", said the old man, and, just as back then, that's my attitude there. Work, work, work. Just get the preclose done, and just chill, taking orders as they come.
Things with Stephanie are good. We talked alittle about how we misinterpret each other on the phone with our invitations to each other's houses. Okay, i think it was me who mentioned that, but she agreed; and i think i saw a few smile, inferring she was satisfied with it all. I just told her i wanted to see her, and it sounded like she didn't want me around this past evening. She told me otherwise, saying she had wanted me around, but she wants me to know i have my freedom to hang with friends and such. I do like hanging with friends, and i do need my time alone; but i need to see her. And i want to see her more than spending time alone or with other friends, excluding the times i'm in a depressive stint, needing to think.
We've been hanging around with our friends, together and apart, more it seems. I like hanging out and trying to have a good time with her friends. It's good innocnt fun most of the time. This is leaving out, of course, the alcoholic party I had on friday. I was pretty messed up that night. Good times.
But above all, i need to be worrying more about my future. Well, worrying isn't the right term for it. I need to be preparing or practicing for the future. Attend school, and just finish this freaking year, get things in perspective and straightened out. Where do i want to go and do, and get completed all the requisites for that (example: ACT). It's amazing how cigarette can make such a big difference in my mood. Going from thinking about leaving to not caring in the least about the next half the day. Anyways, i need to get a few things for class out of the way, before i can continue doing what i want to do. Once again, I love you StephO, miss you a bunch.

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My sign!

Horoscope for Gemini 24 Oct 2005

CHOOSE...AriesTaurusGeminiCancerLeoVirgoLibraScorpioSagittariusCapricornAquariusPisces

Kwiz.Biz Daily Horoscopes for your Blog

Sunrise

It's 6:56 A.M. by my microwave clock, and that's what everyone in my family, during the morning ours, goes by. I thought, since i have the time and there's not much to fill it with, I'd leave some people with an entry. Mornings are dreaded by me, and, not only dreaded, loathed and, if possible, bore me to tears. I'd rather be back in bed, not realizing what's going on in the real world. I'd rather be laying next or sleeping next to Stephanie, dreaming good dreams that i won't remember.

I just went out into the piercing cold wind to warm up my car. This wind brings recollections of North Carolina, on the beach, when I'd try to light a cigarette or smoke one, with no success, repeatedly--rather, a much warmer but more piercing wind. It's these mornings that kill me. I'm no morning person, and, with the knowledge of what i may have to endure today, once i've left, school and annoying people and so much more, I just want to stay home. But only one more year to attend. Only 3 more quarters, pretty much. I just have to finish this shit, finish what i've started so fucking long ago, by the education machine. I will make it.
It's time for me to be off. I love you, stepho, miss you.

The Scent

in the depth of my finger
encircling what's me
what seems irremissable now
could have never been or be
an alleged hope drains through
too low and squalid and sorbid
for words too vile
they dwell for none to see
but for the few who drink it's juice
its poison its puss
it's umbered too great for a sight
and it's deluded and repugnant still
drunk by who in my grasp
addiction to an idea which will not last
infatuation tempered alleged and dwell
drunk by who will never let go
an aroma so profound in sound
but sound in its method
lives in and out and through us all
we're drenched in what we never saw
saturated by now and addicted too
we'll never know quite where it came to the slew
too tawdry too hopeless and too much shame
this band it is encircling in depth the same
it grows it grows and exhausts us so
nothing so frank so clear to see
could otherwise be missed by we
but without our addiction to some
there's nothing to hold as god
no bliss to seek but the infatuation
an addiction praised high
nothing to hope and nothing to shame
what life to live without the blame
dream on, dream out dreams
sink low, sink to sink
for without an action or enemy
what's there to fight for
just empty, unforgetable hopes
lost in the depth to dwell
a profound scent will lead you to
neglect what you feel and drink
just make sure you're strong
live on live strong
eat what has been killed before it rots
or what may hang to dwell
another scent to sell
encircling your finger to tell
this vile epiphany so swell

for some reasons unknown

for some reason unknow, everytime i try to publish an entry at school, photoshop crashes followed by a prompt fireffox crashing. This means i've lost my two entries. The first one where i actually wrote a fair amount, destroyed, and VENGENCE WILL BE MINE! Anyways, the best i can do with the time i have is show you the ring, i was talking about and the powers it gives me. Observe and use simplistic logic to recognize the equation:

this

+
four more of my friends rings
(combined)

=
That's the best i can do to summerize my last, technically deleted entry.

Schools For Fools, Bloggings Where It's At

Another month gone! Just like that last one and the one before that... Wow, time starts increasing velocity and the next thing you know you're almost a legal adult with responsibilities, but, since I'm not yet an adult, nor do I have adamant responsibilities, I can use firefox and friendly proxies to pipeline out of my school network and it's filter's boundaries.

We learned about colors; everything from complimentary colors to Analogous colors. Complimentary colors are colors that add strong contrast. You would go about finding a complimentary color by adding 180 hue degrees to your base color's hue degree. for example: 234 + 180 = 414 - 360 = 54 (if over like so, then subtract 360). A Split complimentary color is a complentary color's two close colors, for if a complimentary color is too strong. for example 234 + 180 = 54 - 20 = 34 or 54 + 20 = 74 (adding and subtracting 20 to the complimentary color). Triad colors are any color plus and minus 120 hue degrees. example: 0 +120 = 120, 0 - 120 = 240 (your triad colors would be, your selected color, 0, and 0+120, 120, and 0-120, 240. Monochromatic colors are colors with similar hues. example: take a nice color, hue # 15, and add or subtract some hue from it to find another nice color. Analogous colors are colors are colors with similar hues, but they are not monchromatic, because they usually use complimentary colors as well.
Sorry for the school lesson, but I'm hoping this will have taught you something about colors and mathematics; and how they correlate with one another. Hopefully this will help me remember this for a lab quiz or something.
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So, we've found another solution to the proxy enigma. If you've ever spent time looking for a proxy that will surpass your business's or school's network, you know how long it may take.
We get out in 10 minutes. Miss you Steph. I hope to see you today.