Unorganized Accounts of My Incarceration

I'm telling you, i have been shooting myself in the foot for so long that i can't even feel it anymore. Either i have to run out of ammunition or someone has to take my gun for me to stop. Where has all this left me? Incarceration? Confinement? i'm getting there if i don't do something, get something, give something up; but all i can really contrive to do is drop everything and quit. That is half my problem, wanting to give up instead of perservere. When i should see the challenge at hand, climb it and succeed, i see a wall and try another way to avoid it all. There's got to be more to this dilemma.

What could be talking about?
DIVERSION
AGAIN,
That's right, AGAIN.
Just as last year i had a restrictive juvenile gun pointed at my head. Motivation huh?