April 11, 2005 I'm on the flip side, and you didn't catch me

Yesterday I went to my dad's new house out in Springfield with Audrey and Stephanie. It was nice, I wanted Stephanie to see it earlier, but there really hasn't been much time to actually enjoy at my dad's new place; all this new work to do all the time. It seemed like that's all my dad wanted from us for a while there, but now he's relaxed on it since there's been plenty accomplished. We've gotten almost all the furniture at his house in one of the two storage areas, garage or barn. Man that place is so flipping beautiful. I want to just sit and listen to music, zone out, and gaze out on the pretty forest parts with Stephanie of course. So I can look over and see stephanie with her bedroom eyes looking back; there's not a better site to see. I can't get enough, regardless if I've spent the past few days with her. SHE'S MY DRUG OF CHOICE! What else can I say?
I grilled some steak while stephanie beamed out on the sunset. The sunsets at my dad's are always "breath taking", kind of like hot pockets, but a little more. I'm dead tired now, so I'm going sleep for an hour, but I know I will finish this later.
I slept for a few hours, everything's still surreal and very fuzzy. I had some crazy dream, that left me scared and wanting to find some religion for me and my friends. My dreamgoes something like this: I wake up and decide to go visit Stephanie, but for some reason i don't get a ride, i decide top walk there. I make it down my street, claydor, and a little of North Fairfield only before i look up to the sky. Everything is getting dimmer and dimmer in the direction i'm heading. It looked like fog that was black instead of white, kinda like a swarm of insects from far away. I think to myself, that it might rain, but i still feel odd about it. Suddenly it's really dark in the direction i'm heading, and the sky starts to move like someone was enlarging a picture infront of your face and then making it smaller. Zooming in and out, the sky is dark black swirls, staring back at me with dark eye's, waiting to crush me as i would a bug, no hesitation. Abruptly, everything comes to a completely stop right when my eyes are fixed on the sky's movement wondering what's going on. It freezes. I continue to walk still on North Fairfield; I didn't make it far this whole time, but it has been a long time by now. The moon turns opposite it's hazy grey color. Bright white with eye lids, it is staring at me. At first, i try to act like i don't know what is going on, but that subsides and i realize that the world is ending. I feel like crying. I start running and i get to my dad's. I run in and find Stephanie and kylee to be there. I'm freaking out. I talk to Stephanie and she doesn't believe me. She offer's me soemthing to get it off my mind though. I can't accept, and i'm hyperventilating falling to me knees. I'm laying on the floor trying to talk; my mouth moves but no sound comes out. And everytime i try to raise my hands up, they're pushed down to the floor. I start crying, and i stand up to hug stephanie, trying to explain that it really is the end of everything. I'm hugging her under the black sky with the blinding white moon beaming at us about to pulverize us both.
I wake up. Stephanie called me, i'm just kinda flustered, and like i said everything still feels surreal. I hate armgeddon-ish dreams like that. They freak me out, sometimes i really think that it's a sign, but i know it can't be true.
So my family was watching "EXTREME MAKE OVER, HOME EDITION", where this guy and his FREAKING huge team make over this family with AIDS. They, i guess because they feel bad fo the whole neighborhood, remodel and make over every house on their whole flippin street. i was writing the dream hearing stupid quote like, "i seriously don't think we're going to be able to get this done THIS TIME." I hate reality television, even though that is a really nice thing to do for a family with all those troubles. I hate that fact they call it reality t.v. when it is completely set up, and they show you how it's set up. What a way to waste money, and not to mention wasting stupid American's time.
Stephanie is suppose to talk to me, but right now she's looking up hair styles on the web. She looked up the bob, lol. If i was a lady i would get that haircut, but i'm not. I'd get it because short hair on the ladies is flippin sexy. OMG, maybe all this talk from the girls like: i want him to wear eyeliner and a skirt, yada yada; and all these guys like: shes needs to be more rough and have short haircuts means we really have some sexual attraction to our same sex but we block it out by want the opposite sex to carry some characteristics of the same sex. I don't know, but it just came to me because i really do like short hair on girls, i don't really know why either.
Oh well, well i'm going to continue this later possibly... the night is young and i had coffee, even though i'm going to bed early; i know this. i miss stephanie's arms around me. T_T