April 18, 2005 The bed, The Road, oh... and then the fuckin school

The rest of my day that you missed:

I was wondering what secrecy was after I read the article in BBC news about the cardinals and how they’re supposed to be deciding who the next pope is, but there’s one problem with this. They said that they were going to be doing this in secret… http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4457223.stm

BOOM PA! BITCHES! AIN’T SECRET NOW, HUH!?

Honestly, I understand the concept they’re trying to convey here, but where do they get off saying its secret, when it’s so clearly not, I MEAN, IT’S IN THE DAMN BBC…

Everyone and their pet monkey (or dog) (preferably monkey) reads that shit.

MY CAT! It’s freaking gone, never to purr, nor lay, nor shit under my bed (only thing I don’t miss) ever….never…..ever again. Maya ::weeps:: I’ll never forget her. We’re actually supposed to be having a kitty funeral today in my backyard… I guess where our other starved—I mean loved animals are buried. Since I’m the only man in the house, I’m stuck with the job, Pet Gravedigger, where I will take a shovel to the earth like I take my hand to my…little brother’s FACE! I wasn’t trying to be ambiguous or to make any sexual innuendo. My insinuation was truly goodhearted. C’mon now, what do you think I am? Some degenerate child molester incest manipulating Indian… well you got one thing right… I’m a child mole—Indian. That’s right, I have a tendency to turn darker brown when exposed to sunlight for an extended period of time, and I can handle sunlight for longer durations than you silly—lovely white folks out there, your tendency is to turn pink or even red. Reminds me of that commercial for clear eyes with Ben... uhhh… Stein. Yeah, that old man with hip converse shoes. What a courageous Actor/Comedian.