April 18, 2005 The Cat, The Shovel, The Hole

Boots dripping with mud, face dripping with swet, muscles sore, all from the creation of my cat's last bed. The only bed she'll never remember. Now, she's covered with earth, like everything thats truly missed.

I've done it again. You've done it again. He's done it again. We've done it again. BOOM PA!

I've had a day. It's been up; It's been down, It's been all around. Even taken me to a real live hole in the ground. School was a waste of my time today. I know i didn't learn anything today. We just watched video's most of my lab. Great videos though; they were about everything. Everything from stick figure cat's poop to modern art's great enlightenment with the people. i wrote some during school but i'll have to wait for tomorrow, when i can send it to my Gmail. i think it was mostly comedy. I was feeling good at the time.

Bedtime is the time when all the great ideas come to me. I'm sure it's the same for you. I always think to myself, "well i'll just say it over and over, and maybe then, i won't forget this idea." I know i can expand on them. Since i'm on the idea, i might as wel bring up what i was thinking last night.
I felt there was something i was missing that night. I didn't feel like learning anything new, and i didn't feel like i was doing very well in anything i was putting my mind to; all those negative thoughts that try to beat you down all the time, when really you're the one doing it to yourself. Well, i got to thinking that it's because i haven't done any good work that i was supposed to do, nothing i really was told to do at least. In school I don't do my work, or if i do, i do it with little concentration or effort. At home i try to put it off for a little while, and it ends up blowing out of proportion, and i procrastinate to expungance. I realized, from thinking of the phrase, "you don't know the sweet, without the sour." Kinda like the whole, "you can't have light without dark." There are many balances we have in life: consistancing of air and water, friends and family, and question for things. Those are some; there are plenty. Yet another to add to the heep is, keep a balance of work to things you enjoy. I figure, without the sour i can't enjoy the sweet, and that leads to me not wanting to do the things i enjoy, like learning, reading, watching movies, and just hanging around with people. This uidea stuck with me as i fell asleep and when i woke up.

I woke up this morning, to a feeling of emptiness; a feeling like i had wasted too much time and there was nothing for me to talk about, when clearly there is, even too much.

Too much for me to talk about now... at least with you here. There will be more here tomorrow when i get back from school. SO CHECK BACK SOON!